


The ghost of you

by laterie



Series: Dragons & Dungeons [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Depression, Keith is my boy, M/M, Omega Verse, but not really, death mention, hurting him is illegal, i should punish my self for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 18:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12658659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laterie/pseuds/laterie
Summary: Uncle Kuro came to visit Keith and Airi. Soon Keith discovers something is wrong.





	The ghost of you

Often Keith caught himself stargazing through his window in his room. Alone, he could think about a home his son would never have. He knew even Shiro had black thoughts about his childhood. Airi had no kids friends. Keith expected Lance and Allura to join his club of parents, but Allura always changed the topic to something she considered more important than kids. Keith only shrugged, feeling that his kid is a burden to her. Sometimes Lance came to help; they talked about how Allura is just scared, and it has nothing to do with him and Airi. 

Airi was eleven and without his father. Nine months have passed since Shiro was gone. The disturbing news almost destroyed Keith’s soul. He felt his bones disappearing, all that mattered was gone. The only light point in the dark was his son. HIs body was now only a corpulent shelter for soul attached to the life-supporting system.

Soon, Airi became the support Keith needed for staying alive. He was no kid anymore, so Keith had the time he could spend alone, thinking about the future without Shiro. He was only thirty-three, too young to throw his life behind.

And so, Keith was waiting.

Until one evening a message came to his email box. Short, only a few words welcomed his sad face. Keith sighed and fell back into the soft blankets and pillows. He tried to build his nest again, but together with Shiro died all his attempt to feel loved or sensual. Without Shiro, his mind and heart needed no heats.

“Goddamnit,“ Keith covered his eyes with the back of his palm and sighed again.

Uncle was coming.

And he was faster than Keith thought. Meanwhile, Keith was glaring at the ceiling, Kuro landed in the hangar being welcomed by Coran and Pidge. His intercom beeped revealing Coran’s voice telling him the joyful news. It seemed almost like Kuro sent the message right before entering the castle ship.

“Tell him _hi_ for me. I’m not in the mood.“ Keith muttered tiredly and turned to his side. He pulled the white fur blanked to his chest and buried his face in Shiro’s pillow.

“He came especially because of you,“ Pidge said, voice soft and caring.

“Then tell him to go back.“

“Keith,“ she paused, „it’s Kuro! _Kuro._ “ she repeated the name.

“I don’t care!“ Keith called, irritated, „send him away!“

He knew this kind of behavior was childish. It didn’t matter to him, that Kuro had no time to stop at the castle and mourn his brother together with the team and his family. The problem lied in Kuro’s face. In his eyes, his face, his body, his voice. He was identical to Shiro, and it hurt. It hurt like hell to see him after Shiro’s death.

Keith buried himself under the blankets and pillows. Nine months was enough to collect himself from the bottom and start again; even if only for his son. Yes, his son, who was sleeping at this time, the raven-haired boy with mesmerizing silver eyes and small sharp nose. His young warrior.

Thinking about everything that held Keith alive, he closed his mind again and gripped the handle of his dagger. Kuro approached his door.

It took them only a few seconds to predict each other steps. Kuro opened the door and elegantly avoided the fast flying dagger. It plunged into the wall behind Kuro.

“You're outta your shape,“ Kuro pulled out the Marmora blade and spun in between his fingers, “I think you need help.“

„Let me be!“ Keith was hiding again. The heat of soft blankets and Shiro’s delicate fragrance wrapped his mind into a delusional bubble.

“My _lady starlight,“_ Kuro entered the room and immediately locked the door, “my lovely, deadly Blade boy.“

“Shut the fuck up!“ he whined from under his stronghold.

“Keith,“ Kuro took off his boots, “I love you.“ The process in Kuro’s mind was pure; he never thought more than it was needed. And so, without thinking, he slipped under the covers to join Keith in his melancholy kingdom.

Keith closed his eyes, fingers on his lips. He trembled, trying to resist to look at Kuro. The voice was enough for his limbs to give up and if he were standing right now next to Kuro, undoubtedly he would fall into his arms like a puppet on the threads.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t come and help you,“ Kuro’s fingertips touched Keith’s eyebrow. He inhaled sharply, breathing the alarming sour scent of the omega. “I was imprisoned.“

“Fuck you,“ Keith tried to sound rough and not interested, but his voice betrayed him, “I didn’t need you. I can handle myself.“

“Of course,“ he smiled, “but, now it’s me who needs you.“

“No, you don’t.“ Keith curled into a fetus position. He buried his face in a pillow again, but his eyes began to sting, and his lugs asked for fresh air. Another person in his little shelter was not helping. Keith dug his fingers into the mattress, clenching his teeth. His whole body tensed and the urge to just jump from the bed and destroy everything started to control his body.

“It’s been a year since we talked,“ Kuro moved closer, “things have changed.“

Like a big wave, the anger splashed Keith’s whole existence and painted him in red. Kuro stomped on the invisible line Keith had drawn in his soul to stay real and sane. Swiftly like a cat Keith shifted and rolled to his side and very soon he was hovering over Kuro who had no intention to defend himself from him. The large white blanket covered the rising sin between their bodies. Keith’s eyes were opened now, and Kuro couldn’t stop staring into the depth of Keith’s soul. 

“Why did you come back?“ Keith cried, tears falling down his cheeks right on Kuro’s face. „If I needed you, I would call you!“

“What would you do, if I called you?“ Kuro whispered, „would you come to me and tell _me everything’s gonna be alright?_ “

“Do you even need that?!“ Keith snapped. He wiped his tears and rudely he sat on Kuro’s lap throwing the blanket away.

“I need _you,_ ” Kuro replied.

Keith took a deep breath while he was watching as Kuro’s expression changed from soft to angry. Often he listened Shiro say; _you’re just like me, sometimes you don’t know which feeling you should choose, and so you hide. But please don’t hide from me._

“And you know I’m a fucking coward a weak brainless idiot without him! That I need to recover from his death and still, you had to come and torture me! Your face is not helping me!“ Keith didn’t understand why he’s yelling. He felt like he separated his mind from his body, like two realities colliding into one.

“So, this all is only about you?!“ Kuro reached for Keith’s hands. He wrapped his long fingers around his wrists and pulled himself up.

“You think Airi is going to jump from happiness after he sees you?“

“I’m here just for one night,“ Kuro stated calmly, “to see you. I needed to see with my own two eyes, that you’re alright.“

“I’m not!“ Keith retorted, “I almost was, but then you had to show up!”

“I needed you,” Kuro leaned on, “ _please._ ”

“What do you want to fix in one day?” Keith freed his hands, “you should get out!”

Before Keith could get up, Kuro had him in a firm hold. He pulled Keith to his body, pressing his face to Keith’s chest. The scent still hasn't changed. Sour and poisoned like Keith’s words.

“He’s gone,” Kuro said softly, “but I’m here.”

The voice rubbed all the sensitive places in Keith. It was easy to believe that this man in his arms, is actually Shiro. Right now, with Kuro’s face buried in his chest, Keith could only see the same haircut and color as Shiro had. It was too easy to get lost and die in his delusional world of fluffy blankets and Shiro’s loving touches.

“Shiro doesn’t need you as I do.”

 _Aren’t you a big boy already?_ Keith wanted to ask, but the words left his tongue before he could transform them into a sentence. And so, as the soft-hearted man, he has always been, Keith stroked Kuro’s short hair and lent him a kiss on his temple. Yes, borrowed, because in just few second he returned the soft kiss on Keith’s chest. His wet lips had stuck on the thin cloth of Keith’s black shirt.

It took Keith all the effort to come back from clouds so he could realize that he’s willingly exchanging an embrace with Kuro. Sitting on Kuro’s legs, holding him in his arms, Keith felt a strange harmony from the intimacy.

“You need to stop,” Kuro kissed the bare neck, “just, stop thinking.”

Keith trembled. Though it’s been nine months, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he’s back with Shiro or his ghost and all of this is just a product of his sick mind.

“Stop it, before it consumes you.”

Keith bowed his head in a silent gesture of a failure. He let Kuro to stroke his cheek, play with his long hair and kiss the corner of his lips.

“I don’t…” Keith avoided a direct kiss on his lips.

“You’re tough enough.” Kuro insisted, finding a fading white strand of hair in the tangle of blackness.

“You sound weird,” the Red Paladin demanded, “you’re not the Kuro I used to know.”

“Did you really used to know me?”

Keith frowned and shrugged. All his negative emotions turned into an invisible hand and closed their bony fingers around his body.

“I’m not always here when you need me. But you never ask me to be here for you when you need me. Can you imagine the feeling? Am I unwanted? Tell me.”

Without a word, Keith gently drew away from Kuro and got up from the bed. He opened the large closet and pulled out a black blanket.

“How long is it?” Kuro asked, watching Keith climbed back on the bed.

“What?”

“Since your last heat?”

“I don’t think that’s your problem.” Keith started to fix up his nest. The pilows already lost the needed warmth.

“Yes, it is.” Kuro smiled and let his body fall on the nest Keith prepared, “do you want to cuddle?”

“What the hell is with your attitude?” Keith hit his head with a small pillow, “behave!”

“I am the Kuro you used to know.”

Keith scowled. He wanted to leave the bed to Kuro and get some food from the kitchen when Kuro wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder. He felt as Keith tensed and held his breath.

“Let’s talk this way. You don’t have to look at my face.”

The painful break inside of Keith caused a tremble of his bottom lip. He couldn’t say _no,_ he couldn’t reach out and touch, not even listen. It was Shiro.

“Just…” Kuro whispered, “I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

Keith sobbed, just like a kid behind a closed door, left in the dark, trying to separate reality from his furious and dark mind. The parallels finally melted into one motion. He was defeated.

“Stop.”

“But I’m tired of playing this game with you.”

“Stop…” Keith felt useless and weak, like a ragged doll in Kuro’s arms.

“I’m tired of pretending that I don’t remember.” Kuro touched Keith’s chest, to prove himself, the heart was still beating just for him.

“At that moment, when I said _I love you,_ you know something was wrong.”

“Shiro,” this was the moment when Keith broke and disappear at the same time. He finally accepted the illusion as reality, “please stop.”

“I knew you _know,_ ” Shiro whispered into his husband’s hair, “you let me kiss you and touch you.”

“Stop!” Keith begged.

“Did you pray? Did you pray that I would never remember? Did you want to leave me behind as Shiro’s brother that never existed?!”

“I didn’t want to!” Keith yelled. He pulled away from the embrace, falling to his knees and hands “they told me you’re dead. They told me you’re completely gone!”

Keith climbed down on the floor. The man who was returning to him like a nightmare finally left for nine months. Shiro was dead and only quintessence remained like a fairy living inside of Shiro’s body. One and a half year Keith was fighting to get his husband back, the evil fairy snatched him, brought him into clouds and let him fall, break into million pieces together with Keith’s heart. And now, when he felt Kuro touching him and call him softly, he tried to push away all the thoughts of hope. He trembled inside, nervously running into the darkness.

“You _were dead!”_ he snapped, “you were dead! I tried to bring you back! God knows how hard I tried. I almost lost our son, our friends, and family. I almost lost my mind.”

Shiro anxiously stroked his thighs. He closed his lips, trying to hold his emotions behind a locked gate. Seeing Keith in this condition was hard enough punishment. But, do they need another punishment after nine months of bitterness and madness?

“You disappeared,” Keith had to close his eyes because the whole room started to spin around him, “you left as Kuro and come back as Kuro. You didn’t remember. All you knew was that you’re Shiro’s younger brother. I couldn’t explain to Airi that you’re…” he paused, unable to continue.

“So you told him, I’m dead.” Shiro’s cold voice left Keith speechless.

“I don’t know how long I can keep myself like this,” Shiro said.

“I’ve tried many times, but you always forgot,” Keith hugged his knees, “and then, Kolivan told me it’s too dangerous to repeat the procedure. Kuro was all that’s left of you.”

Shiro joined his husband on the floor. He had to smile because the big wall mirror reflected off their bodies. Finally, he could see himself as Shiro right next to his husband. How long he didn’t know. All these moments were secret and forbidden. While everybody thought he’s Kuro – the lost brother, he revealed his identity to Keith.

“But now,” Keith wiped his tears, “I can help you. I know I can. Please stay, I can help you this time. We can fight together.” Keith urged. Seeing the hope right before his eyes, he didn’t want to lose.

“Keith,” Shiro smiled sadly, “we both know I can’t.”

Keith looked into his eyes, confused, “you are _you!_ What else—”

“I don’t know how long. I came as Kuro, but when I smelled you when I felt your bitterness under my skin, I couldn’t—” Shiro closed his eyes, the memory still fresh under his lids. “I can’t control it.”

“I can help you!” Keith insisted, “I won’t let you go when you—”

“You’ve already mourned me,” Shiro cleared his throat, “all of them.”

“I can—”

“No,” the ex-black paladin shook his head.

“Stop interrupting me!” Keith grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer, “you’re staying here! Lie to them! Pretend when you need to! But with me, you don’t have to! Tell Kuro I’m here and he doesn’t have to run away!”

Shiro couldn’t hide his surprise. He has forgotten the intensity of Keith’s look and his voice. Months spent in the madness taught him how to stay strong. He knew that the darkness was still creeping on him behind the corner. And maybe, after Keith falls asleep, the demon will retake his chance and separate them forever. Shiro will never remember again, and Keith will lose his mind.

Shiro smiled, caressed Keith’s cheek and finally kissed him on the lips, “Baby.”


End file.
